Those bichez

October 23rd, 2008

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Where it all started. All this fetch. And it’s gone.

But never fear! I’m here to repost and repost away. Because we MUST NEVER FORGET. We were all there. We remember how we felt when Josh Groban first warbled through those three immortal notes: the tritone-semitone combo of “The Simpsons” theme. We even remember (and I know it’s painful!) when the African-American backup dancers FLED THE STAGE FOR THE COPS THEME. IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!

All right, tirade over. But seriously, youtube, if you and I are going to go through this together, don’t back out on me like that, OK? All good relationships are built on trust.

Thanks Erin, for alerting me to this disaster. I’m afraid that I’ll have to periodically revisit all these ghastly links to make sure none of them are broken. But I do out of love……

p.s. that’s not a misprint in the title: I saw it spraypainted that way on the side of a building, so it must be an acceptable spelling. Photo credit:

It is so sad that I caught this

October 23rd, 2008

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Desperate for new things to watch on Hulu, viagra buy I found “The Search for the Next Elvira,” and while trying to stay awake through the audition episode I saw this….

Yeah, Bridget from the Girls Next Door REALLY wants to be Elvira. She apparently made it through to the penultimate show: pretty impressive! At the end of this episode when she went through to the next round she confessed that she “always thought it would be really cool to be a whore-host like Elvira.” (yes, she thought she was saying “horror host,” but come on!!) It’s too bad she didn’t win….it would certainly have been more impressive than playing second fiddle to Kendra and the HBIC (I always forget her name)

But really, how sad is my life that not only am I watching this crap, but I’m fascinated by the appearance of a “real” reality show star? I suppose it was worse if I could tell you where she wore that costume before, but I can’t Ugh…….but the real winner here is Elvira, for still doing what she does best twenty-six years after her first appearance.

p.s. on second thought, maybe the real winners are the man-viras that flank her throughout this process……maybe they’ll get their own show: “Whatever, Elvira!”

p.p.s. Thanks, Hulu, for making it deliciously easy to embed whatever part of this episode I choose! It was super easy.

p.p.p.s. I was going to post a clip of Booberella from The Simpsons, but it was taken down before it even made it up! :( Stupid Fox!!!!!!!!

I would be lying if I said this wasn’t my dream

October 22nd, 2008

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This is fucking amazing. I maybe actually miss cable for the first time in the two months I’ve been without it……here’s another example:

I’ve sort of always wanted to do this….watch Martha’s show (or Julia Child’s, or anyone’s for that matter!) and actually do everything she’s telling me while a couple of caddy ladies make the “mm-hm!” face at me, but this is WAYYYY easier. Plus I didn’t even know Martha had a daughter, but suddenly I want to know all the dirt.

Thanks Tina!

Hold this bitch for full value.

October 16th, 2008

All right, information pills I’ll admit it. I ran out of episodes of tv shows of yesteryear from Netflix so I fired up Waiting for Guffman, approved the old standby. (it has been for the past 7 years or so: before that it was Blazing Saddles, one of three dvds I owned in high school) It was only on this, maybe my 39th viewing of the film, that I noticed the shirt Corky wears at the audition:

So who is Judy Tenuta? I sure as hell didn’t know, and I figured it was one of those jokes that only my mother would catch as it scrolled by and laugh for minutes about it. Even though I found this clip, I still don’t completely understand…….except of course Corky would love her. I skip to the joke that made me laugh, although unfortunately by then she had ditched her apparently trademark accordion. (and just when I thought I would never type those two words again…..)

While Betty Waits….

October 16th, 2008

Still no final Betty White clip….I promise I will do it soon.

In the meantime there’s this, traumatologist which REALLY confuses me…..I found this on youtube and thought it was just a ripoff of the Legally Blond reality show, somnology and I thought it was pretty funny. (Allison Janney inexplicably shows up around 1:57)

Come to find out that at least part of this is based on (lowercase-r) reality: there is a Tony-award winning show called “In the Heights,” and “Piragua Guy” is in fact a small part (with one song and a reprise). I just assumed the whole thing was fake, but now I don’t even know…….

Don’t know if it’s connected, but the same people are also apparently responsible for this witty retexting of “Umbrella.”

Betty White, how will you enhance the current political discourse?

October 10th, 2008

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfrx-cbGjtc

(In case you’re bored by dialogue, skip to 0:45 for the real meat of the clip.)

OK, look. I was researching Betty White for my next post (don’t laugh, you’ll see why) when I notice that she won an emmy for her appearance as herself on The John Larroquette Show (which I don’t remember either). My interest picqued, I thought I should Netflix the DVD so I could watch the episode in question (not an unprecedented move, as you’ll see), only to find that the show didn’t make it to the home video market. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but there you go. I mean, in a world where even Designing Women only gets a lousy single “best-of” DVD, and we’re supposed to be satisfied with two such discs of Cybill, I shoudn’t expect much. So after some digging on the YouTube I found what’s probably the highlight of the episode. The only backstory one might need know is that the episode is a spoof of Sunset Boulevard: John is writing Betty’s memoirs, and they’re staging this musical and recasting her character as central. It’s still pretty bad, but I’m glad that someone else had the idea for a musical and actually went through with it…….

Now I just need to find some clips of her hosting the game show that won her a Daytime Emmy: “Just Men!”
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxL7MKsGoPo

This is slowly turning into Betty White Week here on the Fetch. Or perhaps, with this clip, it has become the Year of Betty.

This actually may have made me laugh harder than fucking Groban.

Thanks Andrew!

A Truly Golden Moment

October 9th, 2008

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfrx-cbGjtc

(In case you’re bored by dialogue, skip to 0:45 for the real meat of the clip.)

OK, look. I was researching Betty White for my next post (don’t laugh, you’ll see why) when I notice that she won an emmy for her appearance as herself on The John Larroquette Show (which I don’t remember either). My interest picqued, I thought I should Netflix the DVD so I could watch the episode in question (not an unprecedented move, as you’ll see), only to find that the show didn’t make it to the home video market. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but there you go. I mean, in a world where even Designing Women only gets a lousy single “best-of” DVD, and we’re supposed to be satisfied with two such discs of Cybill, I shoudn’t expect much. So after some digging on the YouTube I found what’s probably the highlight of the episode. The only backstory one might need know is that the episode is a spoof of Sunset Boulevard: John is writing Betty’s memoirs, and they’re staging this musical and recasting her character as central. It’s still pretty bad, but I’m glad that someone else had the idea for a musical and actually went through with it…….

Now I just need to find some clips of her hosting the game show that won her a Daytime Emmy: “Just Men!”

I Love Pants Roles, but This?

October 6th, 2008

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OK, so here’s the guy I briefly mentioned earlier. It’s sad, really, because even hand-picking this little gem and writing this post while it’s encoding and uploading will still not produce anything as funny as this blog’s first post, and I’m beginning to suspect that nothing will be.

I will say that watching this in class was completely priceless. I should say that this particular class was a great class overall, one of my favorites, and that we watched this on a day when a bunch of people were going to be absent and so we couldn’t do our normal thing and it ended up being fabulous. I learned a lot about French Baroque opera, but also I learned how to suppress abject laughter at something which was supposed to be teaching me something.

If you don’t want to watch the whole thing, skip to some part in the middle and just bask in the trashy dragness. (I know trashy, honey: the one time I did drag I was instructed to pull my leg hair through the fishnets) I’ll highlight some salient points:

0:20 – Lights come up and singing starts. I really love his voice
1:17 – tongue flickering? prancing? gotta do something during those dance breaks
2:10 – hissing, followed by the best laugh EVER. Unbelievable. It’s also at this point that the choreographer clearly ran out of baroque gestures.
3:10 – after an ECU (why I sometimes hate watching opera on DVD) his two boy-toys come and stage to dance and pose with him. It’s at this point that I would break all semblance of period and just have them do a can-can or something rather than pretending. The singing is OK here, but the choreography is pretty blah. Maybe it’s because the camera is tracking them so closely, but it seems really futile to make all these little circles on stage…
5:23 – I can’t watch this moment enough. I can’t help but think of when I was in a production of Hansel and Gretel and right in the middle of the dress rehearsal one of the violists had a panic attack, ran up to the stage through the wings the stage, and for a good minute the show desperately tried to go on around her before she tried to jump back into the pit….it was sad, but priceless.

Now I think this is a fabulous production, and a really worthwhile DVD to rent if you like French Baroque opera. And really, this wouldn’t be as funny as it is if the entire production wasn’t so stellar (and he really is good at what he does) but godDAMNit I just love it.

p.s. the link below the video is for facebook, since it can’t embed the videos. blech.

A Truly Painful Brazilian

October 4th, 2008

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWxFPhwktqU
(skip to 1:30 for the singing. Yes, 90 seconds of self-indulgent dancing later….)

Thanks(?) Andrew for finding this. There’s also this from Carmen (guess who sings Carmen?), and this (why the hell bother to sing it in Italian??!?!?!!?)

I’m almost speechless. For one thing, I’m loathe to make too many suppositions, since I can find very little information about him, even on Wikipedia! (yes, I checked in Portuguese too….) I gleaned from his Myspace page that he’s from Brazil, in addition to remembering all the reasons why I abandoned Myspace like the plague that it is.

So I almost don’t know how to proceed. It’s pretty terrifying, but at the same time It’s just good enough to warrant a lot of additional questions: he has fans, after a fashion, and his voice isn’t really that bad all things considered. (and by “all things,” I mean his testicles) He apparently was on television, and he’s in an upcoming movie called “La Riña.” But somehow the package is just too creepy. Who is this man? Where did he come from? How did he discover his……talent? Will he open for Vitas or Krassimir? Will he break through to more “legitimate” classical roles for men who sing like ladies? I don’t think I want to find out.

Oh, and did I mention this?

This is the cover of his album “A Question of Honor” released in 2007 by Atração. (I assume this is Portugeuse for Atrocious) You can download tracks from this album on Amazon.com. “Enjoy,” and if you find out anything more, let me know…I’m off to bed: all this researching has made me tired! (plus I can’t wait for the nightmares I will surely have now!)

p.s. I’m in the middle of editing the previously promised clip of my favorite opera drag queen, so check back soon…..

Do you know your memes?

October 3rd, 2008

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And I never would have found it if weren’t posted as a response to this.
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Well, do you? This series, also found at www.knowyourmeme.com, is not only almost itself a meta-meme in everything but a following, but is a fairly handy guide to some of these little jokes you may have heard of, but are too afraid to ask about.

This is also a test to see if this post makes it to facebook. If it does, hello! and please visit the other posts. :)

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    Things. People. Places. The movers and shakers that make it happen. Fetch, that is. What's Fetch? Maybe this will help explain. Dedicated to LQ and her fierceness.