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Really? I mean, COME on!

November 25th, 2008

I don’t have any words………

In case you can’t read that, decease it says “A collection of semen-based recipes.” Human semen.

So first I screamed, and then I screamed “FAKE!” Sadly, it’s not, or at least it seems that I could pay $24.95 to have one shipped to me. Holy fucking Jesus. Although it’s doubtful any of these pictures are actually of the recipes they describe, it still flabbergasts me to imagine someone coming up (no pun intended) with all these crimes against humanity.

Some highlights of the description and contents (God, I wish I was making this up):
- “semen is inexpensive to produce”
- “this book is written for consenting diners of semen”
- “as long as the semen is fresh and properly harvested, there is little risk of contamination”
- “we strongly recommend that you intentionally not attempt to alter the taste of the semen used in cooking”

Please just go to the link above and browse through some of the recipes……there are also many HILARIOUS comments, some of which touch on the obvious issues, but many of which convey an almost Colbert-like sense of devotion to the character….the one about semen’s place in a fruititarian diet is pure genius. (Also, the author’s name is Fotie Photenhauer….really Fotie? Do you live on 123 Phake Street?)

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    Things. People. Places. The movers and shakers that make it happen. Fetch, that is. What's Fetch? Maybe this will help explain. Dedicated to LQ and her fierceness.